


beyond measure and reason

by peskylilcritter



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Joe is captured, M/M, Platonic Bedsharing, nicky freaks out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28606356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peskylilcritter/pseuds/peskylilcritter
Summary: The difference between him and Andy, Nicky thinks grimly, is that she has had millennia of practice outliving the people she loves most and Nicky has never had to learn.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 3
Kudos: 101





	beyond measure and reason

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like 40 minutes at 6am having not slept. with that in mind i think i did pretty well.
> 
> the timeline, setting and circumstance are incredibly vague bc i care abt feelings not details. at least in this case.
> 
> also i subscribe to the headcanon that nicky wasnt super attached to his blood family or at least went to war expecting never to see them again.
> 
> anyway. here, have nicky freaking the fuck the out over joe being captured.

The difference between him and Andy, Nicky thinks grimly, is that she has had millennia of practice outliving the people she loves most and Nicky has never had to learn.

If he loses Joe – and he reminds himself firmly that he might not – it will break him irreparably.

This is what makes him and Joe unique even among immortals; they have never once been truly alone.

(The memory of Booker’s words, his grief and bitterness, claws its way to the forefront of his thoughts and he shoves it back because it isn’t helpful right now. Neither is the thought that Booker was right, in some ways.)

(He wonders what Joe would do if their positions were reversed and it’s no more helpful because he doesn’t know. He knows Joe better than he knows himself but _he doesn’t know_.)

* * *

There is absolutely nothing Nicky can do right now to help find Joe so he focuses his attention on weapons care and food and making sure everyone else gets some sleep. Makes himself sleep too because what use is he to Joe if he’s so sleep-deprived he can’t help when they find him.

(When. It has to be when. Nicky can’t allow any other option right now.)

* * *

He wakes panting and the dream slips away so fast that by the time he’s fully conscious he no longer knows if the adrenaline is fear or arousal. The arm around his waist tightens, the body behind him presses closer.

He squeezes his eyes shut against the sudden grief and turns his wrist to take Andy’s hand just for something to hold on to.

(“The moon when I’m lost in darkness,” he remembers and thinks _I could use some light right about now. I am so very lost_.)

* * *

Nile doesn’t know him well enough yet to know this is unusual behavior but it seems she’s reacting to Andy’s concern.

“It’s not the first time we’ve been separated,” he wants to tell her and the words get stuck in his throat because –

The rest of the sentence is “and it won’t be the last,” and Nicky isn’t at all sure of that.

(what if it is what if it is what if it is _what if I never get him back_ )

* * *

What Nicky wants to is walk in there with his sword in his hands and Joe’s on his belt, start fighting, start killing and not stop until he gets to Joe.

Since that’s not a plan or at all feasible, Nicky waits for Andy to tell him what the plan is and follows it precisely.

(Nicky has trusted and followed and believed in her for most of his life. If he has to put Joe’s safety in anyone else’s hands he’s glad they’re Andy’s.)

* * *

(Joe squints at him and says “Hey, babe,” and Nicky is so desperately grateful.

“Let’s go home,” he replies and pulls Joe to his feet.

Thank God, he thinks fervently, for Andromache.)


End file.
